


As His World Trembles

by dk323



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorder, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Graphic Violence, Slavery, incest (goes as far as kissing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dk323/pseuds/dk323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin grows up as a slave to King Lot. Yet due to his friendship with a fellow slave, Euan, and the support of the King’s second son, Prince Gwion; life isn’t so bad. </p><p>Once Merlin is eighteen, his world collapses after an emotional loss and an unexpected sacrifice. When he goes to Camelot with King Lot, Merlin meets Arthur and finds that happiness can still be found in life in the midst of tragedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As His World Trembles

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for prompt #95. I hope you like this, OP! It was an interesting prompt to work with and a story idea I haven't done before, so I enjoyed this challenge. It was nice to revisit some S1 storylines/moments and put a different spin on them.
> 
> Thank you to R and U for your helpful beta work! I really appreciate your feedback on this story.

“Forgive me, Ygraine,” King Uther said quietly. 

He stole his second son away into the night. Uther simply couldn’t keep the child that had led to his beloved wife’s death. If she hadn’t become pregnant again two years after Arthur’s birth, then his dear Igraine would still be alive now.

Yet this child, this dark-haired little babe, was the reason why Igraine was lying cold and dead underground. So he had to get rid of Merlin somehow. Killing him would be unthinkable. No matter the torment Uther was suffering because of the child’s existence, he still couldn’t bear to kill his own son.

So he made an arrangement with King Lot to take the child. Uther told him that he’d found the newborn without a mother and he wasn’t going to spare any time and care for a child of a simple servant. 

Fortunately Lot agreed to take the child. He told him he had another infant, a boy as well by the name of Euan, whom he thought would benefit from having a friend his age. They would both be slaves – meaning unpaid servants -- and once they reached a certain age, they would be given certain other duties. Uther hadn’t wanted to know those details. 

Though Uther was not happy about a son of his becoming a slave, at least there would be someone at Lot’s castle who would be a confidante to him. 

And it was a relief that he wouldn’t have to look at Merlin every day and be reminded of his wife dying because of his birth.

King Lot sent a representative, Desmond, to take away the child. And after Uther gave his second son to the man, he felt a burden lifted off of him.

Arthur would be his only son now.

Fortunately everyone bought his story that Prince Merlin had died suddenly – as babies were wont to do. Uther had kept Merlin close to him in his bedchambers. That decision had left all of Camelot -- even the Court Physician -- believing that he wanted to be close to his second-born after the Queen’s unfortunate demise. 

King Uther never thought the lie he had weaved would eventually unravel one day. 

~ * ~

**King Lot’s Castle:**

“Corin, Desmond has brought the baby Father told us about. Someone to keep Euan company.”

Corin looked at him with cool blue eyes. Gwion almost wished he hadn’t bothered. His older brother never seemed to be in a good mood. “Who bloody cares, Gwion,” he told him. “They’re both slaves and beneath us. Why don’t you find something more interesting to do rather than waste time thinking about poor, pathetic children?” 

“I’ll tell Father you said that!”

“Yes well, try that, Gwion. We know how often he listens to you,” Corin said dismissively. 

Being only five, Gwion knew there was little he could do to compete with his eight-year old brother and his often harsh words. But there were times when Gwion saw the goodness in his brother…they almost made up for his unpleasant behavior. Gwion wished Corin would be friendlier. Was that too much to ask?

“I’m going to see the new baby. I don’t care what you say.”

“Fine. Go ahead,” Corin said with a shrug.

“Don’t you want to come with me?” Gwion asked him. 

“Not at all.”

“You’re dull,” Gwion said, all matter of fact.

He glared at him and left the room.

“One day you’ll understand what it means to be a _real_ prince,” Corin shouted after his retreating form. 

Gwion ignored him, determined that his frustrating brother wouldn’t ruin this for him. 

~ *~

“Come to see the little one, love?” Chelsea, the nursery maid, asked him. 

“Yes,” Gwion told her with a smile.

“There he is. His name is Merlin.” 

Gwion peered into the bassinet and saw a baby with hair as dark as his but his eyes were bright blue – open and curious – so different from Corin’s cold blue eyes. 

Gwion had pale brown eyes in comparison. Next to his blond-haired, blue-eyed brother, he looked unremarkable and sometimes felt it too.

But Merlin was really nice-looking, like all babies he supposed; he was cute in his smallness. Gwion wanted to hold him but Chelsea said he was too young to do so. 

Gwion settled for grasping his hand, watching as the child’s hand wrapped around his finger.

“I’ve decided to come,” Corin’s voice from behind him startled Gwion.

He turned around. 

“My Lord, are you interested in seeing the baby?” Chelsea spoke first.

“No, but since Gwion finds me dull, I thought coming here would help.”

“I knew you would,” Gwion said.

“I’m sure,” he said, appearing to not quite believe Gwion’s faith in him.

Corin looked into the bassinet and commented, “He’s very small.”

“He’s a _baby_ , Corin,” said Gwion, rolling his eyes.

“Be nice to your brother, My little Lord,” Chelsea admonished him.

Gwion stuck out his tongue at his brother anyway when Chelsea wasn’t looking.

~ * ~

**Ten Years Later**

“I have a secret,” a ten-year old Merlin told Euan excitedly with a grin.

“What is it?” Euan asked. 

He looked at Merlin and took his attention away from his miniature knight on a horse wood carving.

“I found a hidden passageway, just behind a bookcase in the library.”

Euan frowned. “Didn’t Prince Gwion tell us he knew all the hidden passageways and rooms? I’m sure he knows about this one. It isn’t much of a secret then.”

“Maybe. But it’s nicer to pretend it is and that we’re the first to discover it. Like we’re adventurers.”

Euan nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

Merlin usually managed to persuade him to go along with his plans. He hoped that maybe Euan would be braver if he did more adventurous type things yet his friend’s naturally quiet demeanor was hard to shake. Still, Merlin was grateful to have him as a friend. Prince Gwion, who was fifteen and therefore wise, told Merlin that he could learn a lot from Euan. Like patience and that there was a time to speak and a time to be quiet. 

Merlin wasn’t quite sure he was succeeding in learning all that, but he felt he was doing his duty by ensuring Euan did something exciting once in a while. Considering how unexciting and generally dull their life was in their low-born positions, Merlin was certain they needed to do something fun every so often.

As they headed to the library, Merlin asked Euan about the knight and steed carving.

“Prince Corin gave it to me. He said he wanted to get rid of his old toys, and he let me have this. Isn’t it really nice?” he asked Merlin.

“I guess so,” Merlin said. “Could I see it?”

Euan nodded. “Here.” He handed it to him.

Merlin carefully traced the outline of the horse and then the knight. It was worn in some places from years of play, but it was a good carving all the same.

“I can’t believe the Ice Prince gave this to you,” Merlin commented in a soft whisper that came out as a hiss. 

He didn’t want any lord passing by and hearing the name a lot of servants and slaves called the eighteen-year old Prince Corin. As a slave, he’d be punished without question.

Euan took the toy back from Merlin. “Prince Corin is nice. He likes me, I think.”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t see him really liking anyone except his father, of course, and well…Prince Gwion maybe. Although that might be only because he has to since they’re brothers.”

“I believe Prince Corin likes me. He wouldn’t give me this toy otherwise.”

“You’re lucky then,” Merlin decided. 

He didn’t want to argue the point further. For his part, Merlin doubted Prince Corin would ever stop glaring at him like he had done something wrong – even if he hadn’t – whenever they passed each other.

When they entered the library, Euan started coughing loudly. Merlin was sure it was all the dust that made its home in the library. He should have remembered Euan was sensitive to the dust. This had been a bad idea.

“Sorry,” Euan said. “The dust – is – bad…”

Merlin gave him a crooked smile. “Don’t say sorry. You didn’t ask for this.”

They quickly left the library. 

But Euan was still coughing despite being out of the library. He leaned against the wall, one hand to his mouth as he kept on coughing. His light-coloured eyes were watery and red.

The knight and steed toy fell from his other hand. Merlin, who naturally had quick reflexes – like magic sometimes he thought –, grabbed the toy before it could fall to the ground.

“I’ll keep it safe for you,” Merlin assured him.

Euan smiled gratefully at him, but he still looked miserable. Merlin didn’t like it at all that he continued to cough. He needed to stop.

Prince Gwion approached them.

“My Lord, I need your help,” Merlin asked of Prince Gwion.

The prince looked deeply concerned as he surveyed Euan. Merlin noticed that Euan had begun to cry.

“I don’t feel well,” Euan said quietly.

Prince Gwion knelt down before him, and he touched his brow. “Your brow is a bit too warm. You must see the Court Physician.” 

He swept aside an errant red lock of hair from Euan’s forehead.

“I can take him there!” Merlin volunteered.

“Thank you, Merlin,” Prince Gwion said to him kindly. 

Euan lay down on his back and whispered, “I don’t think I can walk there, My Lord…”

Merlin felt nervous when he saw Prince Corin coming down the same hallway. But at least Prince Gwion was with them, so Merlin didn’t have to deal with the Ice Prince directly.

“Corin, Euan needs to be taken to the Court Physician,” Prince Gwion told his older brother. “Could you take him there please? Or find a servant to help?”

Prince Corin looked at each of them in turn, and Merlin didn’t miss the distinct note of concern as he peered at Euan.

“I’ll take the boy,” Prince Corin declared. 

He lifted Euan up into his arms and started to walk toward the Physician’s chambers.

“Thank you, Corin,” said Prince Gwion.

He nodded at Prince Gwion. 

Merlin hoped his mouth wasn’t agape like an idiot. He was shocked. He could tell from Euan’s face that he was just as surprised as Merlin was.

Euan got better to Merlin’s great relief. But that moment with Prince Corin forever cemented the fact that the Ice Prince could actually warm up to someone. Even a slave like Euan. It turned out to be a rare occurrence as the years wore on. 

Prince Corin was a curious and infuriating puzzle to Merlin.

~ * ~

**Eight Years Later**

“Do you have a problem?” Prince Corin asked Merlin. His tone was one of disinterest – something Merlin was all to used to. Prince Corin was as different as night and day to his younger brother.

“Euan isn’t feeling well, Sire. I’m coming in his stead.”

“You were whipped yesterday for your insolence to the visiting Lord Laramere. Unless you wish for an infection…”

“I didn’t know you cared, My Lord.”

“I don’t,” Corin answered softly after a long awkward silence. “It wouldn’t do if both you and Euan are unable to complete your tasks.”

“I was given the lash only five times, and I was treated. Teyrnon said I was fine. I’ve always healed fast.”

“I thought you’d do anything to avoid coming into my rooms.”

“I wanted to help Euan while he was ill by covering for him. Prince Gwion said it was all right,” Merlin explained, though Prince Corin did have a point. 

Most of the servants and slaves were unnerved by Prince Corin and found him unpleasant to talk to. And that included Merlin. 

Merlin winced though as he knelt down to light the fire. He had a bad feeling that one of his wounds had re-opened. 

“It appears that your healing abilities are failing you,” Prince Corin commented idly.

“Maybe I should--”

“Yes, I think you should,” the Prince said, his words a dismissal of him. “And tell Euan to get better soon.”

He bowed. “I will, My Lord.”

~ * ~

Merlin wasn’t sure what possessed him to be disrespectful to nobility… there was always this itch inside him that made him want to speak his mind. And that Lord Laramere deserved the tone-lashing since he’d insulted Merlin’s mother and called her a whore. 

Now Merlin had never known his mother and wasn’t quite sure what she’d been in life besides a servant, most likely. But he had been so frustrated that the Lord had the nerve to say that, that just because Merlin was a lowly slave, he was meant to brush off the insult from some high and mighty Lord and pretend it didn’t happen. So he felt justified in telling Lord Laramere that his face resembled a pig’s arse, and it was not a shock at all considering he acted like a pig’s arse too.

The punishment was worth it for that opportunity to defend himself and the ridiculous aghast look on the Lord’s face. Merlin had a laugh about the moment with Prince Gwion later on. 

The whipping he had got yesterday wasn’t his first time. The most he got was twenty lashes at one time a few years ago. Fortunately, since then, the number had never gone over twenty. It was almost a miracle his back wasn’t destroyed with all the signs of bad behavior.

Prince Gwion did what he could to help Merlin, to limit the times he was punished, but he could only do so much as he was not King – and as second son, he was not heir to the throne, which further decreased his power and authority. In the end, his father had the ultimate say. 

Of course there was the Prince Corin, who was heir apparent. Yet Merlin had always got the impression that Prince Gwion wasn’t that successful in swaying his older brother to his opinions. There was a reason after all why servants and slaves of the castle called Prince Corin, “the ice prince,” in hushed whispers behind his back. And the name wasn’t simply due to his white-blond hair and light blue eyes. 

On his way to the Court Physician’s chambers, Merlin encountered Prince Gwion who was looking rather happy.

“Hello, Merlin,” the Prince said with a smile. 

“What has you smiling, My Lord?”

“Princess Flora. I’ll be visiting her in a fortnight. We’re to be married next summer.”

Merlin knew that Prince Gwion had been betrothed to the Princess for the last few years, and that they were both quite in love with one another. There had been a delay though to them taking the final step. King Lot had wanted Prince Corin to find a wife first, a future Queen, but the elder Prince seemed thoroughly disinterested in making any sort of real connection with any of the visiting princesses. 

Lot despaired of this predicament, Merlin was aware thanks to Gwion relaying the information to him with the trust that Merlin wouldn’t use it for fodder in castle gossip. Although it was quite easy to see for anyone who worked and lived in the castle that Prince Corin did not act normally.

But now King Lot must have assented to the match between his younger son and the princess. Princess Flora was just the third daughter of a King, so they were marrying more for love than for financial gain. Merlin liked the thought – and was glad Gwion would marry his love instead of being forced into an arranged marriage.

Merlin hoped, however wistfully, that he would one day find the love of his life. He knew realistically that would never happen as he was simply a slave and had little to offer a girl. The only choice he had was find a girl who was a slave too and try to woo her. Yet none of the female slaves really caught his interest, and he’d never had sex so that made the situation even more hopeless. He’d be a fumbling mess in bed, he was sure of that.

He was eighteen now and he wondered if that meant he’d have the chance for sex. He didn’t want to die a virgin. 

“Merlin, are you there?” Gwion spoke up, pulling Merlin out of his thoughts. “You seemed somewhere else for a moment.”

“Oh sorry, My Lord!” Merlin said. He felt embarrassed for thinking about sex when Gwion had been speaking to him. “I’m happy for you and the princess. I know how much you’ve wanted this.”

Gwion nodded. “Of course no matter what, I do plan to take you with me.”

“I can’t imagine surviving long without you,” said Merlin with a grin.

Prince Gwion smiled, patting him on the back. 

Merlin bit his lip, his back still a little sore and reminding him where he had planned to go in the first place.

“Sorry. I was headed to see Court Physician Teyrnon. To check on my wounds…”

“Oh Merlin. Don’t apologize. I should. I should have remembered. You go on.”

“Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin said, and he bowed to him.

“I’ll just be going to see my dear brother,” Gwion said. “Say hello to Euan for me. Hope he gets better. What a misery he must feel.”

“Of course.”

Merlin and Gwion parted ways, but not before Merlin turned back around. He had to bring this up before he lost his nerve completely. 

“Prince Gwion…I was wondering. I’m eighteen now, and yet I haven’t…er. Nevermind.”

Fortunately, Gwion looked like he understood what Merlin wanted to ask. 

“My father wanted you to start when you were sixteen, but I persuaded him to leave you be. Sometimes he takes my advice, sometimes he doesn’t; but for this, I’m glad he agreed. But if you feel you’re ready, then you can speak to the King about it.”

Merlin nodded, swallowing. “Thank you. I appreciate what you did.”

“I consider you a friend, Merlin. Never forget that,” said Gwion in a firm voice. 

Merlin smiled genuinely. “I won’t. Good day, My Lord.”

~ * ~

Unfortunately this wasn’t one of the times that Euan would recover. It was not long after supper that Euan had taken a turn for the worst. Merlin was by his bedside, pleading with him to hold on, to fight this.

“I was never as strong as you, Merlin.”

“Please, Euan. You can’t. We’re supposed to be together until the end.”

“I’m sorry,” he said as he coughed up blood. “But I’m glad you’re here. If I must die, then I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather see before I do.”

“Please don’t talk like that. What about Prince Corin? You’re one of the few he actually seems to like. I can’t imagine another serving him. You have to defeat this, Euan. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”

“Merlin, the Physician tried all he could. I can’t…I tried, Merlin. Believe me, I did… I have little left in me to fight any longer. Tell Prince Corin that I am sorry.”

“No. Wait. I’ll go get him. You can tell him yourself.”

“Merlin…” Euan said to him, reaching out for his hand. Merlin obligingly took his friend’s hand in his own, squeezing it to comfort him. “Stop it. I don’t want him seeing me like this. Just stay here with me. That’s all--”

Euan looked about to say something further, but he instead sucked in a breath, and fell back on to the cot.

Merlin couldn’t bear to look at him, to see his chest not rising and falling as it should.

“Euan? Euan!” Merlin exclaimed, wanting to shake him awake. Like that would take him out of death’s grip.

The old physician Teyrnon came immediately to Euan’s side, previously letting Merlin a private moment with him.

Merlin barely heard the physician confirm Euan was dead upon checking his pulse. Still numb with disbelief he watched as Teyrnon closed Euan’s eyelids to give the futile impression that he was simply sleeping.

Except in this case, it would be an eternal rest. 

“I should go and…” Merlin trailed off, unable to speak as he looked at Euan’s lifeless body. 

His shock of red hair that Merlin had teased him about, how it reminded him of a blazing fire, now seemed duller in death. He’d never see him open his eyes again, the light colouring always making him look blind, or see him smile and hear his voice. Merlin couldn’t stand it.

“I’ll inform Prince Corin. Why don’t you tell Prince Gwion?” Teyrnon suggested to him. 

Merlin nodded. “Of course, I will do that.”

He walked out of the physician’s chambers in a daze. 

Walking down the hallway, the image of fire couldn’t get out of his mind. Trembling with grief and numb disbelief, he slid down the wall despondently. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes as if that would stop the silent tears from falling. Euan had been his truest, oldest friend and he couldn’t bear losing him. Not now. It was too soon.

He wrapped his arms around his folded knees, resting his head on top of them. Merlin couldn’t help but hiss when he felt his right hand growing warmer. 

Alarmed, Merlin shot out his arm, opening up the palm of his right hand. A hot, lively yet small flame appeared in his hand.

“What? I don’t understand…” Merlin muttered to himself.

With trepidation, he put his other hand over the red and orange flame to smother it. He pre-emptively cringed, expecting his hands to suffer burns. 

But to his great surprise, the flame vanished after he put his other hand over it. Even touching the flame didn’t hurt him as it should have. 

This was happening at the worst possible time. Merlin couldn’t spare a thought to consider the strange flame that hadn’t hurt him. His friend had just died, and the easiest thing for now was to pretend that the appearance of the flame had never happened.

He swiped at his eyes as tears flowed regardless of how much he wanted to stop them. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He was not a child, he was…

Merlin stopped his train of thought as he heard footsteps coming in his direction.

He thought that maybe he should get up. He should be going to see Prince Gwion after all. And if it was a noble approaching, he knew as a slave he couldn’t be seen sitting and idle. He should hide, somewhere.

“Merlin.”

It was Prince Corin. Probably the last person Merlin wanted to see. 

“I’m sorry, My Lord,” Merlin said quietly. 

He made no move to stand up as he should, and he knew he was playing with fire for not acting as he should in Prince Corin’s presence. The elder Prince was strict about propriety, and he would not condone Merlin’s improper conduct.

But Merlin was shocked when Prince Corin knelt down in front of him. He took out a handkerchief and proceeded to wipe Merlin’s tears as they trailed down his cheeks. Merlin was at a loss about what to say or do. After a few long confusing moments for Merlin, Prince Corin stopped and placed the handkerchief in Merlin’s hands. 

“Euan has passed on,” Merlin told him.

The prince nodded. “He was a good man who was dealt an unfortunate hand,” he said softly.

Merlin nodded back, still uncertain how to handle this unexpected tender gesture from Prince Corin. He would never have imagined the “ice prince” to ever wipe his tears after kneeling down before him. It was surreal.

Prince Corin stood up. “I’m going to see him now,” he said to Merlin.

Merlin bit his lip, trying to force himself not to cry as a fresh wave of tears threatened to fall. He must not think of Euan. Doing that would stop him crying. But that felt near impossible and tears fell once again and Merlin wanted to scream. How was he to go on now?

When the prince was about to depart, Merlin spoke up, “My Lord. Your handkerchief.”

“Keep it. It’s yours,” Prince Corin told him.

“Thank you, My Lord,” Merlin said, choking up with emotion as he said the words.

The prince granted him a nod of acknowledgement and then walked away toward the Physician’s Chambers. 

Merlin wondered if the world had gone mad as a result of Euan dying? He wanted to know what had caused Prince Corin to act so, well, warmly. But he was still too uneasy around him to dare ask such a question. 

After composing himself with a shaky breath, Merlin stood up and went to tell Prince Gwion the sad news. 

~ * ~  
A week later, Merlin found himself cornered by two of Lord Laramere’s sons. He really didn’t need this now after Euan’s death, but he knew he should have expected revenge after his insult to the Lord from the previous week. 

“I’m sorry. I just want to be left alone,” Merlin pleaded with them.

“We don’t take orders from a slave. You will pay for your words,” the taller son, Drake, said. He was thin, but threatening due to his height and he loomed over Merlin.

“Maybe we should cut out his tongue,” said the other shorter and sturdily built son, Joffrey.

Drake smiled with intent.

Merlin backed away with his hands raised in surrender. “I said I’m sorry. I’ve already been punished. Isn’t that enough?”

“No,” Drake said bluntly. He took the knife he had in hand and pressed it against Merlin’s throat.

“We decide when it’s enough. It’s not enough until you’re dead.”

“No one will care when you die. You’re only a slave,” said Joffrey.

Merlin bit his tongue when he wanted to shout back that Prince Gwion would care, he would never doubt that. But he didn’t think that would help his situation. Neither brother was listening to reason.

Drake spoke then. He took the knife away from Merlin’s throat to his relief. 

“I think we should give you the courtesy of a slow and painful death,” he decided.

“Please, don’t! No. Please don’t do this,” Merlin begged them.

“Shut up,” said Drake.

And soon, all Merlin could think and feel was pain and panic…wondering if he would die, if his life would end before it had truly begun.

~ * ~

Afterwards, Merlin lay on the ground of the stables – Drake and Joffrey kicking him viciously before leaving him to die as blood pooled all around him.

He was having trouble breathing and he was almost certain that some of his ribs were cracked. Blood came out of his mouth.

He extended an arm, not really reaching for anything and only coming up with dirt in his hand. But Merlin felt the same hand growing warm. It was like the time shortly after Euan’s death.

He gasped when he saw the flame appear in his hand. He hadn’t expected it to return. Calm settled over him and he felt like the flame was his friend. That this would have to do, that if he had to die now then at least this little flame had come to warm him and keep him company as it flickered and danced in his hand.

“Can you help me?” Merlin asked in a whisper, delirium coming over him, as he hoped wildly that the flame could be his savior. Somehow.

The flame just continued on burning brightly. Merlin felt his eyelids droop, but before he fell into an uneasy slumber, he heard footsteps approach and someone say his name.

His last thought was that it sounded very much like Prince Corin.

~ * ~

Merlin found himself in a place of white mist. He could barely see anything around him as everything was cloaked in a thick fog. 

“Merlin, it’s good to see you,” Euan greeted him, smiling, as he appeared out of the blinding mist.

Merlin went to embrace him without a second thought. “I’ve missed you so much,” he told him fiercely.

Euan returned the hug. “Me too,” he agreed as he pulled away from him. “But it’s not your time to be here,” he informed him, a hint of sadness in his voice. “I’m sorry. I am glad to see you though.”

“Am I dead?” Merlin wondered, assuming so if Euan was here.

“I think so, but not for long. You have so many great things ahead of you, Merlin. You can’t die now. But know that I will be here to welcome you when your time to be here arrives.”

“I want to be with you. You’re my true friend, Euan…if I have to die to be here with you, then I will gladly pay the price.”

“Don’t say that, Merlin. Please. You must feel it, you must know it deep down in your heart that this isn’t the end for you. Just promise you’ll live the best life you can live. That would make me happy.”

Merlin thought back to the flame appearing in his hand twice already. He couldn’t deny that the flame was as a result of magic… but it was a ridiculous thought, him with magic? He was only a slave after all. Maybe he was meant to live to discover more about himself? To learn more about this flame-producing magic? Maybe he was meant to do something bards would be telling stories about. Still, to think of himself as a conjurer or some type of sorcerer was almost absurd to wrap his head around.

Merlin nodded. “I’ll do my best,” he assured him.

Euan looked pleased. Then something appeared in his hand. It was the old knight on a steed toy Euan had received from Prince Corin eight years ago.

“I want you to have this. I know you’ll take good care of it,” Euan said to him.

“I promise,” Merlin told him, taking the toy from him. “It will be the most precious thing I own,” he declared with a small smile.

He looked at his hands and arms and saw them fading away. He was leaving.

“Goodbye, Merlin. And good luck, my friend,” Euan said to him. 

Euan waved to Merlin as he faded away from the strange land of mists.

~ * ~

Merlin woke up with a gasp, sitting up as he did so.

He opened his eyes to see that he was in the Court Physician’s chambers. Prince Gwion and Teyrnon were there beside him. The prince urged him to drink from a glass of water. Merlin drank some water to soothe his dry and scratchy throat.

It was then that Merlin looked carefully at Prince Gwion’s face. He was paler than usual, and his eyes were red-rimmed like he had been crying. He looked miserable.

“My Lord. What’s wrong?” Merlin was desperate to know. He hated to see Prince Gwion look so upset.

Prince Gwion looked like he couldn’t bear to say the words. He shook his head, mustering a weak smile. “I’m glad you’re awake, Merlin. We were all worried about you.”

“You were asleep for two days,” Teyrnon informed him.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Please,” Merlin pleaded. He wanted to know now instead of letting others delay what was really on their minds.

“My brother is…gone,” Prince Gwion admitted quietly. He turned away from Merlin as tears came down silently his face.

“What? I don’t understand.”

“When I told Prince Corin that there was a strong chance you would not survive, he wasn’t happy about it,” Teyrnon said. “You were hurt very badly, Merlin. I didn’t know Prince Corin would do what he did.”

“What did he do?”

Prince Gwion chose to speak then. He let out a shaky breath. “There’s a lake – a different one to the lake Euan was sent across -- not far from the castle. Tales have been told about how it can save someone’s life…if a sacrifice is made,” he said. “After Euan’s death, Corin was very upset…I could see it in his eyes. I guess he couldn’t live with himself if you died too. You were Euan’s closest friend after all.”

“The prince appeared to have drowned himself. We found him and he was pulled out, but it was too late,” Teyrnon informed him.

Prince Gwion nodded.

“It was my fault!” Merlin exclaimed. “Lord Laramere’s sons were after me because of the insults I made to their father! I spoke out of turn when I should have had my lips sealed shut. I’m so sorry, My Lord. If I’d known you’d lose your only brother, I would have not been so foolish. Please forgive me,” he asked him, his voice full of desperation.

Tears fell unbidden down his cheeks.

“No,” Prince Gwion said firmly. “Do not excuse their actions. Whatever you said does not mean Drake and Joffrey should have acted so barbarically. You did not deserve that. It does not matter if you are a slave, you are still human and you deserve to be treated with respect and not as a target of someone’s bloodlust. They should not have left you for dead simply for a few words you spoke. You are a better man than Laramere’s sons any day.”

“I still…I’m still sorry. I wish I could turn back time. I hate seeing you so sad.”

“And I you,” Prince Gwion retorted with a slight smile. “My father told Drake and Joffrey to leave immediately for their deplorable actions toward you. They left in the evening on the same day they attacked you, so we are rid of them at least.”

Merlin privately wished that his attackers would have been executed for what they did. But such was the injustice in the world…the wealthy and powerful usually received lighter punishments. If Merlin had attacked a noble to the same extent, then he’d surely be dead now by public execution. Not that Merlin ever imagined himself acting so terribly – he would never stoop to Drake and Joffrey’s level.

Merlin was able to return to his room, the antechamber connected to Prince Gwion’s rooms. He was declared well by the physician as if he had never suffered a violent beating. He dreaded thinking about the fact that Prince Corin’s unexpected sacrifice was the reason he was still living and breathing now. 

It hurt too much to think about.

But maybe now Euan and Prince Corin could reunite in death. Maybe out of this tragedy, there was a bit of hope to cling to. A blessing in disguise.

On his small bed, he noticed the knight on his steed toy that Euan had given to him. He’d almost forgotten about it. A chill passed over him as he realized that his near death experience had really happened. Merlin didn’t forget that the toy was placed with Euan on the boat that was set afire, sending his friend’s spirit into the afterlife as the fire blazed upon the lake. No other explanation existed for the toy being here in his room. 

So there was no doubt. He had seen Euan, and his friend had entrusted the childhood toy to his care.

He wanted to throw the toy against the wall…hating this tangible reminder of both Euan and Prince Corin. Could he bear to look at it every day and be reminded of them? And wonder if he deserved this second chance at life?

Merlin knew it would be hard, but he owed Euan a promise. He had to live his life no matter the struggles that might come his way. He wanted to make his friend proud, make him happy. 

And also, he just couldn’t let Prince Corin’s sacrifice be in vain.

But for now he only had the energy to lie on his side in bed with the toy in hand, and let the tears fall. As he stared unseeingly at the toy, Merlin allowed his sadness and misery to take over. 

At least for a few hours. 

~ * ~

**Six Months Later**

“Are you ready to journey to Camelot?” Prince Gwion asked Merlin upon entering his room.

“No,” Merlin said. “Lothian is my home… I’d be lost in Camelot. I wish you were coming with. King Lot doesn’t seem to like me.”

“My father can be a hard man, but I do know that he took Euan as a baby even if he was aware that Euan was not well.”

“He took pity on him,” Merlin concluded.

“Yes.”

Merlin sighed. “I wish I hadn’t pushed Euan to do things he probably wouldn’t have done on his own. I should have just let him do what he’d rather do.”

“Merlin, don’t say that. You got Euan to make the most of his life, to experience more than he otherwise would have. Your friendship was the best thing that happened to him. Euan told me so when he was alive.”

“Really? He did?”

“Of course.”

Merlin smiled slightly, remembering when he and Euan had been just children. He had wanted to search the forest for fairies and sprites, and Euan had come along as usual.

While they hadn’t encountered any elusive fairies or sprites, they came upon a lot of small furry creatures. That had been good enough for them.

Then Prince Gwion poked him gently. “And you, Merlin, should eat more. It wouldn’t be good to be fainting in a foreign kingdom.”

Merlin shrugged. “I’m only a slave, My Lord. No one will care,” he said. 

He couldn’t deny that after Euan and Prince Corin’s deaths a few months ago, he had lost most of his appetite and interest in eating. While he knew rationally that this wasn’t what the two of them would have wanted – for him to starve himself, it was difficult. Grief and guilt ate away at him – some days were worse than others.

It had come to the point where either Teyrnon or Prince Gwion had to sometimes force food into his mouth or sit by him during some meals to ensure he ate his food.

“Well I care, and I don’t want you speaking like that. You’re valuable to me.” Prince Gwion said fiercely.

“That’s why I don’t want to leave. I want to stay by your side especially now that you’ll be the future King of Lothian. I wish to help you in any way that I can,” Merlin told him in earnest.

Prince Gwion was remaining at Lothian while his father went with Merlin and a few other servants and slaves of the castle. This was a test for Prince Gwion to see how well he could run the kingdom while his father was away. Since Gwion was now the heir apparent, his father was putting more pressure on him to grow into the effective leader he needed his son to be. 

Prince Gwion put his hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “You’ll be helping me by going to Camelot. It could be healing for you to be in a place away from the dark cloud of tragedy here at Lothian. It’s hard for me too to walk the halls and know that I won’t see my brother or Euan alive and well again. And Camelot is where you came from too, so it will be like returning home for you.”

“I was only a baby when I was taken from Camelot. I don’t remember anything about the kingdom.”

“That’s the wonder of learning and discovery,” Prince Gwion said, patting him on the back. “And I’ll be fine. Princess Flora will be with me for moral support.”

Merlin was happy to hear that. He liked the princess. Not long ago, when she came for Gwion’s ceremony to make him the official Crown Prince, she had given Merlin a bouquet of blue flowers because she thought the blue matched his eyes. She was beautiful with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Her kind heart assured Merlin that the prince could not have found a better bride. She would make a good Queen for the kingdom one day.

“That’s good, My Lord.”

“I hope it’s persuasive enough to get you to go,” Prince Gwion said with a small smile. “I’ll miss you, of course, but I look forward to your stories about your time there.”

Merlin thought to himself that the only story he’ll really have to tell is avoiding the Prince of Camelot. He’d heard stories of his arrogance, and this prince was the last person he wanted to see.

~ * ~

Prince Arthur never felt as affected by a look of disapproval as he did now. At the castle training grounds, he was doing some moving target practice as his manservant, Morris, carried the wheel. It was something he did often, and he felt a little defensive when that dark-haired stranger looked so displeased.

He must not know, of course…that man had to be a newcomer to Camelot. But how dare he judge him when this person didn’t even know Arthur? 

Well, all right, so he wasn’t exactly being nice with his servant, but with his friends behind him, he couldn’t resist some joking around. His friends expected it of him and Arthur had to admit Morris was a bit useless, honestly. But anyway, he was the _Prince_ of Camelot. He could do whatever he liked. 

And yet, that damnable stranger. Why did he care what some man he’d never seen before thought?

The stranger started to walk away from Arthur without even saying a word, just the unhappy look that Arthur could not ignore.

Arthur would not let him leave. He shouted, “Hey! Do you have a problem?”

The dark-haired young man stopped and turned around. A fleeting haunted expression – mostly in his blue eyes – crossed his face before the stranger frowned. The man looked about his age, maybe a few years younger. His dark hair contrasted sharply with his paleness and blue eyes – eyes that seemed to carry a deep pain that Arthur almost dreaded to unravel the cause of. Some things were better left secret. His poor quality of dress told Arthur that he must be a servant from a visiting kingdom.

Though the mystery man frowned, he did not speak. He turned around and proceeded to walk away.

“I wonder if he’s mute,” Arthur said aloud. “I think I’m done with target practice for today, Morris,” he announced.

His manservant looked relieved.

He dismissed his friends who looked at him oddly, but Arthur paid them little mind. So he had abruptly ended target practice because of some dark-haired stranger that had sparked his curiosity. What did it matter?

After a few minutes of searching, Arthur finally found him inside the castle. He was in one of the quiet, abandoned corridors.

“Hey you there. I’m the Prince, and I demand you speak to me unless you are mute.”

The man still remained silent, but he did peer at the dagger Arthur still held in his hand.

“Come to kill me?” the stranger finally spoke, and Arthur did not miss that he actually sounded half-serious about it. 

That was the last thing he’d expected to hear.

Arthur stared at him in disbelief. He sheathed his dagger. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course not. I’m not a barbarian. What’s your name? Where are you from?”

The man looked thoughtful for a long moment as if weighing the possibilities of answering. Arthur didn’t think he was that bad of a person to converse with – he could be civil and polite when he wanted to. 

Then he said, “I’m Merlin of Lothian. I serve the royal household of King Lot.”

“Oh. I missed his arrival. Was out hunting…anyway,” Arthur said, waving his hand. “I’m Arthur.”

“—the Prince of Camelot,” said Merlin. “I’m sure you have other things you’d rather be doing like bullying your servants. I’m just a slave, and not worth your time. Good day, My Lord.”

Merlin turned away from him and headed in the opposite direction.

“You can’t leave without me dismissing you!” Arthur called after him.

Arthur didn’t know what had come over him, but he didn’t feel this discussion was finished. A need to see more of this Merlin was strong within him. He went after Merlin, grabbing his arm to stop him from turning a corner.

“I still want to talk to you,” Arthur told him. “I’ll decide if you’re worth my time or not. You can’t tell me what I should think.”

Merlin looked at the hand still grasping his arm. “Let me go,” he said quietly.

Arthur almost jumped back when in Merlin’s other hand, a flame suddenly appeared.

“I didn’t know you had magic!” Arthur exclaimed.

Merlin smothered the flame with his other hand without a burn forming on either hand. “I can only do the flame. I can’t control when it comes.”

“That’s comforting,” said Arthur dryly.

Merlin gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I won’t tell anyone about the magic,” Arthur assured him.

Even if magic was permitted in Camelot, it was still frowned upon for lower classes to possess magic and they were subject to punishment if they used magic to harm others.

It would be better for Merlin’s sake to keep his magic quiet.

“Thank you, My Lord. I’ll try to control the flame better so it doesn’t appear in front of others.”

“Lucky it was just me that saw it then.”

Merlin shrugged. “Maybe. Good bye, My Lord.”

And he was gone. Arthur didn’t follow him this time. 

~ * ~ 

Merlin leaned against the wall as a spell of dizziness overwhelmed him. He should eat something. He touched his brow, slipping down the wall as he breathed slowly in and out.

“Hello, are you all right?”A dark-skinned female servant asked him. She looked concerned.

Merlin gave her a small smile. He stood up to prove that he was okay. “I’m good. Thank you. I’ll just be on my way.”

“Oh,” she said. Merlin could tell she wasn’t buying his lie, but he hoped she would let the subject drop. “Well, I’m Guinevere, but everyone calls me Gwen. I’m the Lady Morgana’s maidservant. You’re one of the servants from Lothian, aren’t you?”

Merlin nodded. “I’m Merlin. I’m one of the slaves serving King Lot’s household.”

“Oh dear. We don’t have slaves in Camelot. I’m sorry that you’re in that position.”

“It’s all I’ve known. While we don’t get paid, and we stay in service for life unless we are sold; it’s not so bad if you have a good master.”

“Yes, I can’t argue with that. The Lady Morgana and I are close, and working for her doesn’t feel like a chore most of the time.”

“It’s the same with Prince Gwion and me.”

“He’s the Crown Prince of Lothian?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve heard good things about him.”

“I couldn’t ask for a better prince,” said Merlin.

Gwen smiled back at him.

Then King Lot approached, and Gwen excused herself.

The King of Lothian looked at Merlin with disapproval. “You haven’t eaten, have you? I won’t be bringing back a dead slave. There has been enough death lately, don’t you agree, Merlin?”

Merlin bowed his head. “Yes, Your Majesty. I’m sorry.”

“Very well. I don’t want to send a letter to my son saying you’re starving yourself.”

“Of course, Sire. I don’t want to disappoint Prince Gwion,” Merlin said in earnest. King Lot made him nervous, and he was certain that if the King wasn’t too keen on him before, then he definitely was now. He had a feeling that King Lot was unhappy with him for Prince Corin’s death. After all, Merlin’s words had led to the beating so severe that Prince Corin felt the need to sacrifice his own life to save Merlin’s. Of course the King would not like the fact that he had lost his eldest son for the sake of a slave’s life.

Though Prince Gwion would try to convince Merlin otherwise, he would not waver from his belief of King Lot’s strong displeasure with him. Merlin wouldn’t be surprised if the King would find a way for Merlin to remain at Camelot and not return to Lothian. In case Merlin’s actions would result in the death of Gwion – leaving King Lot with no children.

Merlin was grateful when the King dismissed him. 

~ * ~

The next day Merlin ate breakfast with Gwen. She had told him that King Lot had spoken to her, informing her that Merlin needed someone to watch him to make sure he ate.

Merlin just shrugged it off when she asked him why he had this problem.

“You can talk to me if you need to, Merlin. If there’s anything wrong…”

“Nothing’s wrong. I don’t want to talk about it,” Merlin said stubbornly. He moved his spoon around inside his bowl of porridge, and finding its appearance unappetizing, he settled for eating the bread instead.

Gwen frowned. “Did you eat anything yesterday?”

“Some stew and bread,” Merlin told her with a crooked smile. “See? I eat… really, I don’t want you to think you have to watch me. King Lot meant well, I’m sure. Honestly I think he wants to leave me here. I’m not very good at being a slave…doing chores and the cleaning and serving.”

“But won’t Prince Gwion object to you not returning to Lothian?”

“I’ll miss him, but if it’s the King’s wish, there’s not much he can do. I imagine King Lot will persuade him very nicely about why I should be here instead of there.”

“I’d imagine it would be hard to leave Lothian since it’s your home.”

“I was born in Camelot, actually. But I was just a baby when I was taken. I guess my mother decided I’d be better off in Lothian. I suppose she’s long dead now.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said Gwen. “Well if what you say turns out to be true about staying here, then you can count me as a friend.”

“Thanks. I’m glad to hear that.”

Gwen smiled, and then she looked like she wanted to speak further, but was uncertain.

“What is it?”

“The Lady Morgana has told me that Prince Arthur has spoken of you to her. He seems to like you. When did you meet the Prince?”

Merlin was surprised. They only had one brief meeting. So yes, they shared the secret of the flame and the fact that Merlin possessed some magic. Merlin hadn’t even confided in Prince Gwion about the flame. Mostly because Merlin himself had wanted to pretend the flame was a dream, and then when Prince Corin died, he hadn’t wanted to burden Prince Gwion with the reality of his sudden magical ability. 

But no matter the secret sharing, Merlin couldn’t comprehend why this prince was interested enough in him to discuss him with others. He was only a slave, and a broken one at that, as he feared he would always live with that deep aching pain left behind with the death of Euan and Prince Corin’s sacrifice. Sometimes he felt that the only true peace he would gain would be through the peace of his own death. 

Merlin refused to give in to that urge if only for Prince Gwion’s sake. He hated imagining how upset and sad Prince Gwion would be if Merlin had died. He had lost his only brother, and Merlin just couldn’t have Prince Gwion suffer yet another death. And Euan’s words about living the best life he could live kept him going. He had to press on somehow. He just had to. 

“I met the Prince yesterday. We had a short talk in a corridor. It was rather unremarkable,” Merlin informed her. “What did the Prince say about me to the Lady Morgana?” Merlin asked.

“Just that he liked talking to you. You intrigued him.”

Merlin was certain if Prince Arthur had spoken of the flame, then Gwen would have brought it up. It seemed the prince had been true to his word and kept Merlin’s secret.

The thought of that made Merlin feel warm and a bit excited too. Maybe it wouldn’t be just Gwen that he’d have as a friend in Camelot. But what the Prince’s interest in him would lead to, he wasn’t sure, but he imagined it would be something good. At least he hoped so.

~ * ~

Later that day, Merlin was passing by one of the guest chambers and he saw a knight summoning three snakes from his shield. He knew there was going to be a tournament here in Camelot. He was sure that having those snakes was against the rules. What if they were venomous?

And if Prince Arthur was going to participate, then Merlin couldn’t bear to think of what would happen if the prince was pitted against the snakes. Despite the brief time he had known Prince Arthur, Merlin had grown to care for the man to his surprise. 

The fact the prince promised to keep his magic secret made Merlin see him in a different light. Before, he surely would have believed Prince Arthur would be the sort who would tell everyone of Merlin’s magic due to the uneasiness of low-borns possessing magic. What the prince did showed his courage, but still, Merlin didn’t want the prince to be confronted with venomous snakes. That was one time that Merlin didn’t want to see prince’s bravery on display because he feared it wouldn’t be enough. Especially if this knight was determined to take Prince Arthur down with the poisonous snakes.

He made to leave quickly so that the knight wouldn’t spot him. Yet he was too late as the knight turned his head and saw him.

Before Merlin could do anything, the knight had pulled him into the room by the collar and pushed him up against the wall.

“Think you can spy on me, did you?” the knight said.

Merlin shook his head. “I promise I won’t say a word. Please let me go.”

“No, I don’t trust little shits like you. You’re only a servant. You’ll snitch to the highest bidder, won’t you?”

“I promise I won’t! I promise,” Merlin cried out, sounding and feeling desperate.

His hand was growing warm. The flame. The flame was coming. But he could never quite get the hang of making it appear at the moment he wished it to.

“Liar. Perhaps you want to see what my snakes can do?”

“No! Please. I promise! Please!” Merlin tried to persuade him. 

The knight pressed the blade of his dagger at his throat leaving Merlin afraid to make a sudden movement as certain death awaited him. He silently urged the flame to appear. 

The knight ignored his desperate pleading and waved at his snakes to attack Merlin. One of the snakes slithered toward Merlin and the knight bent down to grab the snake. Fear kept Merlin in place, but he eyed the door considering an escape. Should he go for it and hope the snakes didn’t attack him before he was beyond their reach?

The snake hissed at him and bit him in the hand. An ugly bite wound started to form there.

Merlin then felt his whole right arm getting far too warm.

He tried to make it to the door, but his legs felt heavy. The venom was affecting him. He was going to die.

“Having trouble?” the knight asked with a smirk.

Merlin felt his eyes well up with tears. He didn’t want to die like this in front of a man who’d rather grant him a painful death than any mercy or compassion.

“You are no true knight,” Merlin said to him defiantly.

The knight snarled at him. “How dare you, boy!”

He curled his fist and looked ready to punch Merlin in the face. Merlin flinched in anticipation of the hard hit.

Then Merlin let out a sigh of relief when the flame appeared in his hand, blazing high and threatening as the knight looked startled and backed away.

And it wasn’t just that. Merlin himself grew startled when a dragon also appeared. The great lizard occupied almost half of the knight’s chambers.

Merlin was doubtful if he had made the dragon appear. But it would have been a logical progression from the flame. A rather big jump in magical talent, but still welcome now as Merlin was feeling feverish. He had slipped down the wall, no longer able to stand he felt so weak. He used his other hand to vanquish the flame on his right hand. The flame had done its job already.

“What in the world? Where did that come from?” the knight exclaimed.

The green dragon had golden eyes and a fierce look in them. The great lizard flapped his wings and breathed out fire at the knight.

Merlin didn’t stop the dragon – wasn’t even sure if he could anyway – as he burned the knight alive. Merlin had just enough energy to cover his ears to not hear the screams of agony and pain from the knight as he was burned to death.

The dragon stomped out the blaze with his big paws.

“Thank you,” said Merlin sincerely. He smiled quietly at the dragon. The creature went to him and dropped his head so that Merlin could pet him.

He closed his eyes, feeling the snake venom circulate inside him slowly killing him. If he was to die, at least he’d have this dragon with him. 

He’d always wanted to see a dragon.

He was prevented from falling asleep though when Arthur’s voice permeated through his foggy mind.

“Merlin!” he said urgently. “What happened? Merlin, tell me.”

“Snake venom. ‘m dying…” Merlin managed to inform him.

“No, you’re not.”

“Stubborn,” Merlin murmured. “There’s a dragon…I think…”

“If there was, then the dragon’s gone now. There’s only a pile of ashes. Do you know what happened to Knight Valiant?”

“The dragon killed him… that knight had live snakes in his shield. He was cheating…and now he’s dead.”

Merlin laughed weakly. “I didn’t like him.”

He heard Arthur sigh. “Come on. I need to get you to Gaius. Get that venom out of you.”

Arthur coaxed Merlin into a standing position, and Merlin leaned on him. He didn’t feel steady enough on his feet to stand on his own, much less walk.

“Hmmm, dying isn’t so bad…” Merlin murmured, half-awake. At least with death, the suffocating guilt would leave him alone. He’d have peace and he could be with Euan again.

“Shut up, Merlin. Don’t you dare say that,” Arthur said.

Merlin wondered why Arthur sounded so fierce and annoyed with what he had said. The thought comforted him, making him feel warm and pleasant. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so quick to assume that Arthur was the arrogant prince others claimed him to be. 

“Sorry,” said Merlin.

“Don’t apologize. Just focus on staying awake. Unless you’d rather I get the physician to come here?”

“I could walk. I’m fine,” Merlin assured him quickly. “Just need a little help is all,” he amended soon after upon Arthur’s incredulous look.

So the two of them, slowly but surely, made their way to the Court Physician’s chambers. Merlin did his best not to fall asleep as Arthur supported him, his arm around Merlin’s back.

~ * ~

Merlin was in and out of sleep for the night and the following day. The Court Physician Gaius extracted the snake venom and was working on an antidote. Merlin hoped that would mean he’d be well again and he could pretend the incident had never happened. 

He was glad to see Gwen visit him and leave him flowers. The prince visited him as well when he could. And Merlin overheard a talk between him and the Lady Morgana. He had a strong feeling that the pair believed him to be asleep, so he took advantage and kept up the charade. He did so especially because he grew curious when he was the topic of their conversation. The truth would come out clearer that way after all.

“You seem fond of this slave, Arthur. Why is that?”

Arthur shrugged. “I just am.”

“My maid Gwen told me that his master is Prince Gwion of Lothian. And that he treats Merlin well. I don’t think Merlin would be interested in staying in Camelot because of your sudden fondness of him.”

“I didn’t say anything about wanting him to stay here.”

“It will be hard for you, I’d imagine. As soon as he sees how much of a prat you are, he’ll want to return to Lothian as soon as he can.”

“Shut up, Morgana,” Arthur shot back at her.

“Or Prince Gwion will forbid you from buying his slave. It will be quite a challenge. I do wonder if you’ll have to grovel to the prince to get what you want. Would be a refreshing change.”

“I now remember why I never like talking with you,” Arthur said, irritated.

Morgana smiled, undeterred, and looking quite amused.

Merlin was enjoying the conversation too, and he contemplated how it’d look like if Prince Arthur would have to beg Prince Gwion to get Merlin. Then again, maybe Prince Arthur was not interested in doing that and the Lady Morgana had read him wrong. Merlin himself wasn’t sure what he’d prefer. While the prince of Camelot had proven to be a good man so far, he didn’t know if he’d be able to call Camelot home and end his service to Prince Gwion.

Was he ready for such a big change?

“Tell me, Arthur. Seriously. There must be a reason. Why Merlin?”

“I don’t know!” Arthur almost shouted at her, raising his hands in exasperation. “Maybe…there’s just something about Merlin. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I feel like he should stay here. I don’t want him to leave.”

“Good luck with the groveling then,” Morgana replied with a wicked smile.

Arthur frowned at her, but didn’t deign her with an answer.

Merlin smiled before he drifted off to sleep.

~ * ~

Early the next day, Merlin received the antidote to the snake venom.

“It shall be a few weeks before you get back to normal, but you are out of immediate danger of dying,” Gaius explained to him.

Merlin found that statement somewhat funny as he hadn’t felt like his normal self since Euan died, and then with the magical flame and Prince Corin’s sacrifice. He doubted he’d ever feel normal again.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll have trouble walking for a time. The venom affected your right leg strongly, and it may be hard to keep your balance and walk. A cane should suffice though. You’re young, so you’ll heal well. You just need to be careful for the next month.”

“So I have a lame leg,” Merlin said curtly. That meant he would be unable to fulfill some of his duties like carrying things up the stairs. Not possible if he had to hold on to a cane. Then again, it wasn’t like he enjoyed doing those things, so he was admittedly grateful to get out of doing them for a short time at least.

“Yes,” Gaius nodded. “I can inform King Lot about your situation. I’m certain he will understand.”

“I’m sure he will,” Merlin muttered. And it’d be a nice excuse for King Lot to leave Merlin behind in Camelot – what use was a lame slave to him anyway?

Yet Merlin realized that maybe he wouldn’t mind all too much because of Prince Arthur. Like the prince said of Merlin – that there was something about him – Merlin felt similarly about Arthur. He just had to remain in Camelot to solve this mystery.

He sat up in the cot and tried to stand, but he felt the weakness in his right leg as it wobbled and left him feeling unsteady. He fell back on to the bed as Gaius frowned at him and advised him again to be careful.

“Do you have a cane I could use?” Merlin asked. 

“That I do. Prince Arthur left one for you when I told him that you may need a cane. He was quite concerned about you.”

Merlin smiled to himself as Gaius handed him a polished dark wooden cane with engravings all around it.

“That was nice of him,” Merlin said. 

He tested out the cane with Gaius watching on to insure he didn’t fall. But the cane turned out to be just what he needed. With it he could stand on his own two feet. Though he had to walk slowly at first, Merlin was confident he could make the best of the situation. 

At least he wasn’t dead. A thought that was both reassuring and frustrating. He felt like one foot was in the world of the living and the other in the world of the dead with Euan. It was with great determination that he tried to focus on living and not on his grief that threatened to swallow him whole if he didn’t hold his resolve.

~ * ~

“I want Merlin to be my manservant,” Arthur told King Lot.

The King of Lothian looked thoughtfully at Arthur. “And you wish for my consent?”

Arthur nodded.

“I should warn you that Merlin is not well,” Lot told him, a pointed look in his eye.

“I know the snake venom has affected his leg, but Gaius, the Court Physician here, assures me that Merlin will recover.”

“I don’t mean physically unwell, though I do not deny what you say. Merlin is grieving and he’s suffering in the mind,” Lot said, putting his cup to his lips and drank from it. “Simply put, Merlin is deeply depressed though he may try to hide it.”

Arthur recalled the look of deep pain he saw in Merlin’s eyes. “What happened?”

“I’m afraid it’s a matter that I even find difficult to discuss.”

“I want to help Merlin, and to do that, I need to know what troubles him.”

The King sighed, looking hesitant in revealing the details. Then he nodded. “Very well. My eldest son, Prince Corin, died in an unusual circumstance.”

“How is that?”

“Merlin, the often troublesome slave he is, had insulted a Lord. The Lord’s sons days later gave Merlin a beating so severe that he was at death’s door. My son Corin found him barely alive, and upon learning from then physician that Merlin had little hope of surviving, my son decided to do something about that. He sacrificed his own life at a special lake in Lothian so that the slave Merlin may yet live.”

“So Merlin is feeling guilty about that?”

“Yes. And also, his friend, a fellow slave, died some days before my son’s death. One death is hard enough to take, but two in such a short time is even more difficult. Especially for a slave as slaves are more weak-minded…yet Merlin is a quite uncommon slave, I do have to admit.”

“I noticed he was different from others,” Arthur remarked. 

He dared not bring up Merlin’s trick with the flame as he wasn’t sure King Lot knew about it. If he could guess, he believed the King did not. He imagined it would be a detail that Merlin would keep to himself since being a slave with magic was a combination that could land Merlin in even deeper trouble. And if he had been beaten up as King Lot told him, then certainly trouble was the last thing Merlin needed.

“If you believe you’ll be able to handle him considering his state, then you can buy him.”

“I heard that Prince Gwion was his master. Will he accept this decision?”

King Lot waved his hand. “Don’t worry about him. I shall deal with my son. He’s glad that Merlin has come to Camelot, and he will not mind if Merlin does not serve him any longer. Of course I trust you won’t treat him poorly?”

“I won’t,” said Arthur resolutely. 

“Then he’s yours. I will write to my son about this news.”

“What is the price for him?”

“Two hundred fifty gold coins will suffice,” said the King.

Arthur agreed to that amount and wondered how he’d tell his father that he’d just bought a slave to be his manservant.

~ * ~

“I’m your manservant now?” Merlin asked him. “Isn’t this bad timing considering I can only walk with a cane? I won’t be very good at it.”

“The decision still stands. And Gaius said you would get better in a few weeks, remember.”

Merlin muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “—depends on what you mean by better.”

Arthur decided it might be good to broach the subject of Merlin’s depression. “Merlin, I know about…” 

Yet Merlin cut him off. Sitting on the edge of his cot, he peered down pensively at his hands as if he could not bear to look Arthur in the eye. “How did you explain Knight Valiant’s death? The dragon killed him, but I don’t think anyone will believe that.”

“I handled it. I told my father that Valiant was attacking you without provocation, and I came in to defend you.”

Merlin looked at him then. “And breathed out fire at him so he was left as a pile of ash,” Merlin finished with a disbelieving eye roll.

“Yes well that bit doesn’t matter. I had a torch with me. I hadn’t meant to kill him of course, but sometimes in the heat of battle…”

“Things get heated,” Merlin quipped. 

Then he chuckled to himself. 

When Merlin kept on laughing, Arthur grew worried. 

“Merlin, I don’t think it was that funny,” Arthur said.

Merlin’s laughter subsided. “Sorry…it’s just when I don’t eat, I find some things funnier than they should be.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

Merlin was quiet for a long moment before shrugging. “I can’t remember. Hours ago…at breakfast?”

“Merlin, it’s near suppertime. Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten since this morning,” Arthur scolded him.

“Erm…I might have eaten a little… I don’t like eating.”

“Gaius should be making sure you eat. You’ll be able to heal faster if you eat, Merlin. Don’t you want to get better?”

“It’s not Gaius’s fault. He has other duties. I don’t want him wasting his time with me. And yes, I do want to heal faster, but I can’t help it.”

“Is this because you’re depressed? King Lot told me about Prince Corin…”

Merlin’s expression darkened. “That’s none of your business. He shouldn’t have told you about that.”

“Merlin, I asked him. I want to help you in any way I can.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” said Merlin stubbornly.

“Well you can’t keep this all inside you. I can’t begin to fathom how you feel, but I doubt Prince Corin wanted you to be miserable.”

“I know what you really want to say,” Merlin told him. “How could a prince ever do sacrifice his life for that of a slave’s? It’s not done. I should have died. And you think that too, deep down, you do. I don’t doubt King Lot wishes he could kill me, but he realizes that Prince Gwion would be against it. And when he dies, he doesn’t want his son hating him for killing me.”

“How do you know King Lot feels like that? You can’t see into his mind. Or into my mind. I don’t think you should have died, Merlin. While what the prince did was unusual, you still deserve a chance at life slave or not. You have magic, Merlin. That’s an uncommon gift that should be celebrated.”

“My magic manifested right after my friend Euan died,” Merlin said unhappily. “Every time the flame appears or other strange magical things like the dragon, it’s a reminder of his death.”

“No matter how the magic came about, you have to accept that it’s there. You have to make peace with it, embrace it. Maybe you can learn how to control your magic instead of your magic making itself known outside of your command. I know it’ll be hard, but you’re alive and--”

“—and what? I should stop acting like I’d rather die? I’m done talking with you,” Merlin shot back at him.

He stood up, grasping his cane.

“Where are you going?” Arthur demanded, irritated, as Merlin began walking away, a bit unsteadily as he used the cane.

Merlin turned around. “Don’t worry. I’ll still be alive by tomorrow morning, My Lord,” he said darkly.

“Merlin—I won’t let you leave.”

Arthur was debating grabbing Merlin’s arm to stop him or trusting his word about not doing anything foolish.

“Go ahead,” Merlin challenged him. “I can’t run from you. Restrain me if you want to. I’m your manservant now, a completely useless one, but I serve you now. So do what you must. I’ll probably hate you for the rest of my life, but what do you care? You’re the Prince and have enough people fawning over you. My opinion means nothing. Good night, My Lord.”

Then he abruptly turned away from Arthur and headed in the direction of the door. 

Arthur clenched and unclenched his fists. He was itching to block Merlin’s way. He could do it. Merlin was slow with his lame leg, and Arthur could easily cut him off. But Merlin’s fierce declaration that he’d hate him forever hurt Arthur deeply. Sure, maybe Merlin didn’t truly mean it. He might have just said the words to upset Arthur, but it wouldn’t be something Merlin would carry through. 

And yet. Arthur didn’t want Merlin hating him if he in fact was honest about that. He was puzzled himself why he needed Merlin to feel that Arthur was his friend. Yet this feeling was here to stay and he couldn’t vanquish it. And he couldn’t risk the tentative bond they’d formed by stopping Merlin and forcing him to obey his orders.

So Arthur decided to change tact. Before Merlin could open the door to leave, Arthur spoke up. A hint of desperation seeped into his voice. “Merlin, just don’t…be…an idiot.”

With his back still to Arthur, Merlin stopped, but he didn’t speak.

But then, Arthur heard him. “Thank you for the cane, My Lord,” he said so quietly that Arthur almost missed the words.

Barely a moment later, Merlin left the physician’s chambers without waiting for Arthur’s reply.

Arthur sat down on the now empty cot and put his hands over his face, feeling at a loss about what to do.

Now he was beginning to understand what King Lot had meant when he’d warned him about Merlin. 

~ * ~

It wasn’t only that the magic was a reminder of Euan’s death. While Merlin was grateful for his magic and how it had helped him, he saw the magic as representing this new part of his life after Euan and Prince Corin’s deaths. 

Merlin felt that if he embraced his magic like Arthur wanted him to, then he’d truly be leaving his old life behind in Lothian. And he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. 

Yet Lothian was not the home to him it once was. Even though Prince Gwion was still there, it was different as the ache of loss permeated the halls of the castle at Lothian.

Deep into his thoughts, Merlin didn’t realize he had bumped into someone until that person exclaimed, “Watch it, boy!”

To Merlin’s dismay, of all the people he could bump into, it had to be King Uther, Arthur’s father.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty,” he said quickly.

King Uther gave him a good look as if trying to remember his name. “You’re a part of King Lot’s household? Merlin, is it?”

Merlin nodded. “Yes.”

The King stared at him discerningly, making Merlin thoroughly uncomfortable before he was dismissed to his great relief.

No one saw the fairy appearing a few feet away before the small creature vanished, a calculating look in his coal-black eyes.

~ * ~ 

Just before dawn the next morning, Arthur was very surprised to see Morgana’s maidservant, Guinevere, rush into his room. She was holding something in her hands.

“My Lord! I apologize for coming at such an early hour, but I think something is wrong with Merlin. I think you’re the only one who can find him.”

Arthur sat up in his bed, suddenly feeling as awake as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped over his head.

“What do you mean, ‘find’ him? Merlin is missing?” Arthur asked. 

If Merlin had done something stupid after all and gone and killed himself, then Arthur wasn’t sure what he’d do.

Guinevere nodded. “Yes. He isn’t in his bed and no one can tell me where he is. And there’s this too – it’s a wooden piece that was on his bed. The knight and horse are glowing red, do you see? It must be a warning… I’m worried about Merlin. I had to tell you as soon as possible, My Lord.”

He did see in fact that the knight and horse were surrounded by a glow that was bright red in colour. 

Arthur started to get dressed. “Don’t worry, Guinevere. I’ll find him.”

She nodded again, biting her lip. “I think you should take this wooden carving with you. It must have magical properties if it’s glowing red. Maybe it could help you,” Guinevere said hopefully.

“Good idea,” he acknowledged. 

~ * ~

He was grateful that somehow, the carving was able to guide him to where Merlin was. Guinevere was right. This knight and steed carving certainly was magical – unsurprising that Merlin should have it.

The carving made the path to Merlin clear – it was a sort of magic that didn’t feel like magic at all. Arthur compared it to travelling to a wholly familiar place where the way there was so well-memorized, it was instinctive. He didn’t have any trouble in his search for Merlin.

He eventually arrived on the shore of a lake. Arthur knew it as the Lake of Avalon.

“Merlin? Merlin!” Arthur yelled. 

He took off his boots, put back the carving in his bag, and he entered the water.

Wading through the cool water, he sought out a dark head – anything that would identify Merlin. 

He was both relieved to finally find Merlin yet horrified that Merlin had appeared to have drowned in the waters of Avalon.

Gritting his teeth, Arthur dived down to grab Merlin and pull him out of the water. He swam to shore with his heavy burden. A bit of hope sparked inside him when he swore he heard Merlin breathing shallowly, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly.

Did he dare to believe he had caught Merlin in time? Or was it just luck that Merlin’s magic kept him alive?

Whatever the reason was, Arthur was grateful for it.

*

He laid Merlin down on the ground, and then he applied pressure to his chest to get him breathing again.

“Come on, Merlin. Wake up,” he pleaded with him.

Merlin opened his eyes, now more stormy blue in colour, and he immediately sat up coughing out lake water as he did so.

Arthur pat his back to help him in getting that water out of his body.

“Thanks,” said Merlin. “I don’t know where my cane is…” he declared, looking rather confused.

“Never mind your cane. I haven’t seen it. You almost drowned to death, Merlin. I thought you promised me.”

“I…” Merlin paused, still with puzzlement written all over his face. “I think there was a dark fairy. It wasn’t me, My Lord. I wouldn’t try to drown myself.”

“My Father always told me to be wary around dark fairies and avoid them if you can.”

Merlin frowned at him.

“I’m not helping, am I?”

“As I have no parents, I had no one to tell me those things. And if you must know, I was caught off-guard. I think if a fairy wants something, they’ll do anything to get it.”

“What? And this fairy wanted you to die?”

Merlin shrugged. “I suppose so. Doesn’t matter. I want to know where my cane is.”

He started to stand, his eyes looking all around him in his quest to hunt down his cane.

“I can get you another cane, Merlin. It’s not a problem.”

“But I liked that cane!” Merlin shot back at him. He lost his battle with gravity, and Arthur went to his side, urging him to lean on him for support. “Blasted fairy…he could have filched it,” Merlin muttered under his breath.

“Is it because I gave you the cane?” Arthur wondered, curious, and he couldn’t help smiling at the thought that Merlin valued the cane because Arthur had gifted it to him.

“No,” said Merlin briskly, but Arthur could tell he was lying. For one, Merlin wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I just don’t like losing things…especially things I need to help me bloody walk,” he explained, glaring toward the lake in front of him.

“You know what matters more is that the fairy failed in killing you? A cane is just a piece of wood… you’ll survive without it. I’ll get you an identical one if you want. Or at least a similar cane. What about that?”

“Are you trying to be funny?” Merlin said. He eyed Arthur.

Apparently after a near-death experience, Merlin was rather grumpy.

“Forget it. I should just take you back to Camelot. You’re probably still in shock.”

Merlin pushed Arthur away from him and slowly walked the few steps to sit down and lean against a tree.

“How did you find me?”

“It was your carving. Guinevere found it. She saw it glowing red and she was concerned that you were in trouble.”

“My carving?” Merlin uttered.

Arthur went over to his bag and removed the knight and steed carving. “This. It’s yours, isn’t it?”

Merlin stared at Arthur and then at the carving. 

“Here, take it,” Arthur handed the carving to him. “Did you know it had magical properties?”

Merlin shook his head, but he remained silent as he took the carving from him.

The knight and his horse glowed blue while Merlin held it in his hand. 

Arthur sat down beside him.

“It was a toy,” Merlin started simply. He stared straight ahead and did not look at Arthur once. As if he could not bear to. “My friend, Euan…it was his. And before that, it was Prince Corin’s. He gave it to Euan when Euan and I were ten. The prince was too old to have this toy then, and he decided Euan should have it. Not many people liked being in the prince’s presence… Euan was one of the few who had a good relationship with him. I’m not sure what he did to manage that, but it almost seemed like a miracle. He served Prince Corin like I used to serve Prince Gwion.”

“And they’re together in death. That’s good, isn’t it?”

Arthur’s comment only seemed to make Merlin unhappier. He frowned. “Maybe yes,” Merlin conceded reluctantly. “And I’m here stuck with you. You’re the last person I’d thought to be friends with.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Arthur said, attempting to be patient with him.

Merlin snorted and he looked up at the sky. 

Arthur noticed tears falling down his face.

“Merlin?”

“I don’t want to talk anymore. You return to Camelot. I want to stay here alone for a little while before returning.”

“No, I’m not leaving you now. What if the dark fairy comes back and sees you’re alive? You need someone else here to stop the fairy from taking out its wrath on you.”

“If you insist on being stubborn, I can’t stop you,” Merlin said, sounding defeated.

“Hey,” Arthur said softly. He put a finger under Merlin’s chin and coaxed Merlin to finally face him.

“I’m glad to have met you, Merlin,” he confided in him.

And then because he couldn’t stand to see the tear streaks wetting Merlin’s face, Arthur leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. He hoped that would put an end to Merlin’s melancholy – at least for the moment.

Merlin looked surprised, but then Arthur was pleased when he returned the kiss. Soon Arthur had Merlin lying on the ground beneath him and he began to leave kisses on his long neck and collarbone.

He felt raindrops on his back only a few moments later. Hadn’t it been a sunny day? There had been no rainclouds in sight.

“It’s raining,” Merlin stated the obvious. Then he let out a laugh as if he were caught in a kind of euphoria.

“Merlin, what is going on? Is this your magic at work?”

“I still can’t truly control it, but I think this is my magic. I don’t know why it decided to conjure rain. I don’t want to get wet.”

Then they soon got their answer – sort of – as to what Merlin’s magic was aiming for.

Not just raindrops fell from the sky, but baby dragons as well. The baby dragons were only about as big as Arthur’s hand. Thankfully, as soon as the dragons fell down from skies, the raindrops began to stop.

Merlin was wide-eyed, but Arthur was glad to see excitement shine through his face instead of sadness. Seeing the happy look on Merlin’s face was the best thing Arthur had ever seen. Because of this, he pushed down his feeling of alarm and dismay at this odd occurrence. If baby dragons falling from the sky pulled Merlin out of his misery, then Arthur would share his excitement.

Once he thought about it a bit, the dragons were an extraordinary sight to witness. The baby dragons were so small that they seemed harmless.

Merlin made to stand up, and Arthur was right at his side so that Merlin could keep his balance while remaining upright.

Grinning at Arthur, Merlin said, “Isn’t this amazing? We did it, I think. It must have been the kissing… it excited my magic. And then your name is Pendragon – so it all fits! We created baby dragons!” Merlin exclaimed.

The two of them watched as the growing group of baby dragons tried to breathe out little bursts of fire, but most only managed puffs of smoke since they were so young. 

“That’s one accomplishment I never expected to achieve,” said Arthur dryly, but he smiled at Merlin all the same.

Merlin kissed him again.

~ * ~

It took about an hour before baby dragons stopped falling from the sky. Shortly after, all but one of the baby dragons vanished – an illusion of Merlin’s magic in the end, though an especially impressive one at that.

Merlin took the lone baby dragon in hand and started talking to him and stroking his back. Arthur could tell from the look on his face that there was no dissuading Merlin from sending the dragon away.

So Arthur decided to ask a question that would receive a more positive answer. “What will you name your dragon?”

Merlin looked at Arthur and smiled. “Kilgharrah. That’s his name.”

“I don’t want to know where you got that name from. But I guess a big name is appropriate for a dragon.”

And the two of them strategized about how to smuggle a dragon into the castle. Arthur was sure his father wouldn’t be too thrilled about a dragon living at the castle. But it would become more of a problem when Kilgharrah would grow bigger in size. Maybe they would send him to live in the forests or a nice cave… for now, Merlin wouldn’t hear of leaving a little baby dragon to fend for itself.

At least Merlin grudgingly agreed to a cage for the dragon.

~ * ~

Merlin was feeling happier than ever before after Arthur had rescued him and they had adopted Kilgharrah.

But when King Uther had asked him and Arthur to dine with him a few days later, Merlin had never expected to learn that he was not truly low-born after all.

That he should have never been a slave in the first place if the King – his father – had been thwarted in secretly giving him away.

“I realize my grave mistake now, Merlin,” the King had said. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. I shouldn’t have forced my child to pay for my unhappiness at the death of my wife. It was not your fault that she died. I have had many years to accept that death in childbirth is a possibility that cannot be eradicated. Ygraine would have been deeply disappointed in me if I even thought of sending one of her children to live as a slave.”

Merlin hadn’t known quite what to say. “I’m truly a Prince then?”

King Uther nodded. “Yes. My second-born son.”

Merlin had seriously considered that he was in some dream world. 

“That means Merlin’s my younger brother?” Arthur had brought up. 

Merlin had understood Arthur’s inner turmoil. That had been easy. He had been in turmoil as well trying to process the news and what this would mean for his relationship with Arthur.

He had kissed Arthur, and he still felt very un-brotherly feelings toward him. How would it work between them now? Merlin felt like the one of the few happy things he had been clinging to recently had been ripped away from him.

~ * ~

**One Month Later**

Merlin thought his new more expensive outfit was all wrong. He didn’t feel like himself while wearing material meant for a Prince. A part of him just couldn’t accept this big shift in his life after so many years as a slave. Gwen was trying her best to help him out, and she was a good person to talk to about Arthur. She didn’t judge him about his feelings for Arthur in light of them being brothers. Merlin was forever grateful for Gwen.

Morgana, on the other hand, was a little too enthusiastic in deciding on what outfits Merlin should wear and which colour would look best on him. He sometimes found it hard to escape her clutches, but Merlin had to admit that the Lady Morgana had a knack for fashion.

He wondered what Prince Gwion would think of this. King Lot had been informed of Merlin’s true station in life. He had been so surprised that he’d dropped his goblet and red wine had spilled all over his lap. Merlin knew King Lot had sent Gwion a letter about the news. Merlin hoped that Gwion would come to see him during the official celebration to introduce Merlin as the previously-believed-to-be-dead second son of King Uther.

Merlin felt he’d be calmer with a familiar friendly face like Prince Gwion there to support him. He had grown closer to Arthur too, but he had known Gwion for years compared to his brief time with Arthur. Not to mention now Merlin was unsure about being around Arthur since they had to act like brothers when Merlin was still rather interested in kissing him and maybe a little more. He was still a virgin after all, and he despaired that he would never find the right person. He would have chosen Arthur if circumstances were different.

“Merlin, I want to show you something,” Arthur told him, not wasting any time before he entered Merlin’s chambers.

“What is it?” Merlin wondered. “I have plans to spend my time with Kilgharrah now. Can it wait?” 

The baby dragon was in Merlin’s new chambers as Merlin was adamant on the dragon being close by. 

“No, it can’t. I understand that you’re uneasy about spending time with me, but we have to get used to this new predicament. It will never change. You will always be my brother. Maybe we love each other more than brothers should, and I can’t say how we would have felt had we grown up together, but I want to spend time with you, Merlin. Just because we can’t fully act on our feelings doesn’t mean we can’t talk to one another. At least now we’re on equal footing, and you have Kilgharrah… and well…”

“What?” Merlin asked, turning away from Kilgharrah who was lighting all the candles despite the presence of daylight outside.

“As with your magic and Kilgharrah, we can keep another secret…” Arthur suggested as nonchalantly as possible.

“I think I have to get used to being a Prince before I pursue anything else,” Merlin reasoned. “But I’m not opposed to more secrets,” he hurriedly added when he saw Arthur’s face fall.

Arthur smiled, pleased. “Good. I still have to show you something.”

He almost dragged Merlin along with him as he headed in the direction of the library.

Arthur opened up a bookcase that turned out to be the entrance to a hidden passageway.

As they walked along the narrow passage, one after the other with Arthur leading the way, Merlin’s curiosity grew.

“What does this passage lead to, Arthur?” Merlin wanted to know.

“You’ll soon find out,” Arthur assured him.

After what felt like forever but was only about ten minutes, the corridor opened up into a room with shelves of books.

Merlin looked to Arthur expectantly.

Arthur spread out both his arms. “All these books are on magic. No better place to begin your magic education.”

Merlin gaped, not being able to quite believe that there were all these books that could aid him in understanding magic better. 

And unlike before, he felt he was ready to embark on this journey of learning all he could about his magic. He could better look after Kilgharrah too if he tested the extent of his magical abilities.

And he could protect Arthur on the battlefield if he mastered his magic.

“Thank you, Arthur,” Merlin said.

He couldn’t resist kissing Arthur in the mouth in gratitude. For this one moment, it didn’t matter that they were brothers in blood. It didn’t feel wrong when Merlin tasted destiny and golden days ahead as his tongue ventured inside Arthur’s mouth, Arthur obliging him.

Merlin noticed a candle on a nearby desk light up with a bright flame. He was certain that it wasn’t his doing.

No.

It was an old friend greeting him. The flame was as red as Euan’s shock of red hair. Merlin wondered if Euan’s final gift to him was not just the carving of the knight and his steed, but magic too.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~


End file.
